How to strengthen your friendships

Creating depth and strength to a friendship and keeping friendships positive and alive isn’t just about staying in touch.

It’s about putting in effort to keep the bond strong, keeping interactions high-quality, and fixing any issues that pop up. Here are some strategies to strengthen your friendships:

Start with reflection

Take time to reflect on the health of your current friendships. One way you can do this is to make a list of your friends, the support they provide you, the joy they bring you, the challenges, and how you connect with them. This can help you recognise which friendships you value and want to invest in.

Prioritise supportiveness

Support is the backbone of strong friendships. Support means being there emotionally, showing empathy, and offering reassurance. It is important to celebrate your friends' wins and be there for them in tough times as well as to check-in regularly.

Foster openness

Create openness in your friendships by sharing your personal thoughts and feelings. Show curiosity, interest, and affection (where appropriate).  Being open helps both of you express yourselves freely and strengthens your friendship.

Make time

Keeping in touch, particularly with busy schedules, is crucial as regular interactions keep friendships alive. Plan meetups, celebrate milestones and do activities together to stay connected and keep the energy of the friendship alive.

Balance routine and strategic efforts

Friendship maintenance involves routine and strategic efforts. Routine actions are everyday things you do to support your relationships such as sending messages or funny videos, while strategic efforts address specific issues as they arise such as carving out space and time to support your friend through a difficult time. It is important to recognise when a friendship needs extra attention and when concerns need to be tackled proactively.

I think friendships start by having something in common and a shared set of values. The more you share, the deeper the friendship can become. Keeping friendships requires work and prioritising spending time together when our lives get busy and go in different directions.

Andrew

Te Herenga Waka staff member