How to initiate friendships
The biggest tip is to simply introduce yourself and put yourself out there.
When you confidently share your interests and hopes, you create room for people to find similarities and create a connection.
For example, in a discussion board or course/study group chat, you could simply write: “Kia Ora, my name is ___. I am studying ____. I enjoy ____ and in my spare time ___. With my degree, I want to ___. I am looking forward to getting to know you.”
Whether it is asking another student how they’re finding the course you’re in together, or how they’re feeling about a topical issue, invite connection by creating opportunities, asking questions, expressing a genuine interest in others and being fully present. It is much easier to be interested than interesting!
Avoid trying to present a perfect version of yourself; just be your true self. You might want to share where you grew up, what makes you happy, and what your hopes are.
If you’re in a space or a group for the first time, tell people you’re new, introduce yourself, and ask them if there’s anything you need to know.
Find something in common, no matter what it is, and focus on that while slowly broadening the interest base. For me, the key to any friendship is respect, giving the friendship room to grow, being authentic, non-judgmental and investing time.
Sue
Te Herenga Waka staff member
Handling rejection
If someone declines your attempt at a connection, it is normal to feel a sense of rejection, which can challenge your self-esteem and trigger strong emotional responses. Recognising and accepting your emotions and acknowledging rejection as a normal part of the human experience can be a good place to start. Seeking support by talking to other friends or family and reminding yourself of your strengths can also be useful to help you move on to discovering another connection.